Offensive musical acts in drag. A foie gras dinner paired with misogynistic, homophobic “jokes.” An investment CEO singing a financial-crisis ditty set to the tune of “Dixie” in a Confederate flag hat.
Sound like a scene from a fantastical Wall Street satire? Sigh, we wish. According to a reporter from New York magazine who crashed a completely bananas secret society gathering of the world’s most powerful, awful financial tycoons, these kinds of shenanigans pass for “humor” among the blissfully unaware and pathologically insane 1 percent.
Beyond all the antics, what lingers most about this article is the ending, in which the reporter ekes out a bit of sympathy for these crazy money-mongers by musing that they usually begin their careers as relatively normal blokes.
What exactly is it about being in the finance sector that turns normal humans into mutant A-holes? The answer, not surprisingly, boils down to the pathological dangers of dirty dirty greed, as supported by numerous studies. To wit:
--In 2012, seven separate studies conducted at UC Berkeley (Go Bears!) revealed that upper-class people are more likely to lie, cheat, and just generally act like d*cks by, for instance, cutting people off in traffic. Said a lead author of the study:
“The increased unethical tendencies of upper-class individuals are driven, in part, by their more favorable attitudes toward greed.”
--At the same time, according to the American Psychological Association, people who are exposed to greed (e.g. anybody who’s ever worked in finance) are more likely to act greedy themselves -- a dark-side version of the classic “pay it forward” approach.
--Apparently, the very study of economics and finance makes people suckier, leading to behaviors that are less charitable, less fair, and (you guessed it) more greedy.
With so many forces at work, it’s no wonder these poor lost souls end up throwing $200,000 S&M orgies dressed as The Gimp from Pulp Fiction or forcing junior associates to shave their head to get money for a boob job.
Listen, Wall Street, we feel sorry for you, we really do.* But we’d really like it if you would please stop acting like utter pri*ks before all that is good in the world is destroyed (or, you know, destroyed further). And please please take that stupid Confederate flag hat off your head.
K, thanks!
*Actually, no we don’t.
Image: commons.wikimedia.org
